SOPHIE LI

Author-illustrator

3 Day Quotes Challenge: Day 3

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Thank you Darren @ The Arty Plantsman for nominating me for this challenge!

Here are the rules:

  1. Thank the person who nominates you
  2. Post one quote per day for 3 consecutive days
  3. Nominate three new bloggers each day (just 2 bloggers for today!)

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Today’s quote:

I am always saying “Glad to’ve met you” to somebody I’m not at all glad I met. If you want to stay alive, you have to say that stuff, though.

— J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye

This quote from The Catcher in the Rye made me think about the ways that we greet each other. Though it is a bit of a pessimistic quote, I like that it does hold some truth (and delivers it with a humorous punch.) Here in the Western world, it is a routine to say “it’s nice to meet you” to each new person that we meet. Sometimes I mean it and sometimes (to be honest!) I don’t. However if it is said on such a routine basis, does this decrease the meaning of these words?

Today I nominate Sieran Lane @ A Wild and Stormy Mind and Haidan @ Haidan Writes.

No worries if you don’t do like to do these types of challenges. On the other hand, if you want to do this challenge, consider yourself nominated!

Sophie Li

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30 responses to “3 Day Quotes Challenge: Day 3”

  1. Sieran Lane Avatar
    Sieran Lane

    Omg what does it say about me that I found Catcher in the Rye one of the most hilarious literary classics I have ever read? XD I couldn’t stop laughing at the book and had to leave the library because my laughter was too disruptive.

    Aw, thanks for tagging me, but I think I’m just too busy for tags right now, what with reading, writing, and many other life things!! D:

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Sophie Li Avatar
      Sophie Li

      I think you may be the only person I know who thinks Catcher in the Rye is hilarious!? I thought it is angsty and a bit depressing haha.

      No worries! Take your time. Hope your writing is going well 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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      1. Sieran Lane Avatar
        Sieran Lane

        Yes, I am endlessly baffled that most people don’t think that Holden is super funny… Yeah it was very sad, but I thought it was told in a way that was very comical… Maybe this is partly because I adore tragicomic humor. I go to a queer comedy show every week, and many comedians make their sad experiences sound really funny!

        Thanks, my writing is coming along! I just have to be more patient with myself, haha.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Sophie Li Avatar
        Sophie Li

        It’s pretty amazing when people can turn embarrassing or even sad experiences into funny stories 🙂
        That’s great to hear that your writing is going well!

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Sieran Lane Avatar
        Sieran Lane

        Hey speaking of, I’ve been feeling very accomplished lately because some people think I’m funny. XD Sometimes, I’m not even trying to be funny; I’m just saying something that is a matter of fact to me, but people laugh. XD

        Here are some examples of things I said that are just facts to me, but others thought they were hilarious:

        “I don’t mind being an ethnic minority, because when I go to Chinatown, I instantly become the majority.”

        (Two of my white friends thought that was really funny. XD Maybe because they had never thought of that perspective before.)

        At a queer comedy show, the host was playing several pop songs so that we can later vote for our favorite. One of the last songs he played, was Avril Lavigne’s “Girlfriend” in Mandarin. The host (who is white) asked if anyone in the audience who understands Mandarin could comment on it. Almost everyone in the audience were white, and I think only me and a Chinese guy sitting next to me understood the lyrics. I was sitting very close to the stage, and I muttered, “It was so-so.”

        The host thought my response was hilarious and asked me to repeat my answer into the mic. XD

        Well, it was a matter of fact to me that the Mandarin translation was so-so, and the singing wasn’t impressive either, since Avril is neither Chinese nor proficient in Chinese herself. But I guess it might sound funny if the person hearing my answer isn’t Chinese themselves, haha.

        More examples:

        I told one of my therapists that since I started passing as male, I became quite self-conscious. So I wouldn’t dare look at a woman for even one second too long, for fear that she will think I’m a perv or a creep. I don’t dare look at a man for a second too long either, because I’m afraid of homophobia. On Facebook, an older trans guy friend said that soon, you won’t be able to look at children either, because people will think you’re a pedophile. Yikes! So I said to my friend, “Well, at least I can still stare at dogs.”

        Wow my therapist laughed at that and said I should do stand-up, because I’m good at one-liners. XD Lol, but my joke was in earnest, though. XD

        One more example:
        I told my other therapist that I didn’t realize this before, but I’m actually very detail oriented, and am not so good at looking at the big picture. My therapist asked, “So, you see the trees rather than the forest?”

        I said, “Actually, I see the twigs rather than the forest.”

        And my therapist laughed. XD Once again, I was only saying what I saw as a matter of fact for me. Lolol. Still felt hyper validating for people to find me funny, though.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Sophie Li Avatar
        Sophie Li

        Lol I love these lines that you shared! They made me laugh as well 🙂 my favourites are the ones about staring at dogs and twigs in the forest.
        I heard the mandarin version of Girlfriend and agree with your so-so rating haha.
        Sometimes I complain about gender inequality between men and women but in this case it sounds difficult to be a man! I often stare at people who are beautiful (both men or women) but I think I have more leeway since I’m female.

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Sieran Lane Avatar
        Sieran Lane

        Thank you!!! You are very validating. 😁

        LOL right? I’ve heard of a Mandarin version of Pretty Boy sang by M2M. It’s kind of cute to listen to white girls sing in Mandarin, though, lol. I mean, I know I’m making the stereotypical assumption that white folks can’t speak Chinese well, but statistically, not many can…

        Oh yeah, I complain about gender inequality too, in addition to transphobia and the erasure of nonbinary identities. But as a transmasc friend and I have been talking about, there are some settings where there is actually “female privilege”, for instance, car insurance is more expensive for men than for women. (One trans woman I know, jokes that she saved on car insurance by switching to female!)

        Yeah it’s quite interesting when you’re transitioning from female to male (or close to male, in my case). You see how you’re compelled to change some of your social behaviors, like not being able to stare at human beings you don’t know anymore. I am pretty short, so my eye level would usually be approximately at breast level if the stranger I’m talking to is a woman. Obviously, I don’t want her to think that I’m checking out her chest, so I usually avoid making eye contact at all, and just look away most of the time, which may be seen as avoidant
        … Just yesterday, I saw a girl enter the subway who was quite beautiful, with long, smooth hair and impeccable makeup. But I took care to look away from her most of the time, even though she was sitting right opposite me. Back when I was presenting as female, no one would care if a little girl (I look like a teen) was staring at an older girl, lol.

        Sometimes, I think maybe I could just tell them I’m gay–since being on testosterone for nine months, my attractions have shifted in that I’ve become almost completely androphilic, and feel very minimal attraction towards women now. But hey, cis gay men don’t have to come out to defend themselves, so I shouldn’t have to either!

        One trans guy friend remarked, “Unless you are seriously transgender, I would not recommend being male.” LOLL I knew he meant that as a joke, but I couldn’t help laughing. You know I laugh at tragicomic jokes.

        In a darker example, I’ve heard from a black female friend, that black men are much more likely to be pulled over for “speeding” by the cops, than black women are. And I read that if a black man calls the police, the police may automatically assume that the black man is the culprit…but this does not happen if a black woman calls the police.

        Liked by 1 person

      6. Sophie Li Avatar
        Sophie Li

        Yes I do agree about female privilege. I watched a video where they staged two types of abusive relationships in public: a man yelling at a woman and a woman verbally yelling at a man. Nearly everyone who walked past the first couple intervened while most people who walked past the second couple did not intervene. I think the first scenario is more likely to be perceived as abusive while in the second scenario, people may think that the woman is just arguing or being emotional. Also, I think if a cruise ship sinks, they would save the women and children first (this was from Tina Feys memoir lol, so correct me if this has changed!) On a personal note, one time I was stopped by a police car because my car headlight malfunctioned, I broke down into tears (unintentionally) and did not get ticketed. My fiancé said he would not have gotten ticketed if he cried lol. Yes I have also read that black men are more likely arrested than black women or white men, which is unfortunate.

        That’s interesting to hear about your experience with the gender transition. If it is any reassurance, when I catch a guy looking at me I don’t automatically think they are a creep, especially if they don’t look creepy (I’m sure you don’t!)

        Lol that is a funny comment by your friend about being male 🙂 Do you think it is true for your experience so far? Are there any benefits to being male that you’ve noticed?

        Liked by 1 person

      7. Sieran Lane Avatar
        Sieran Lane

        Yeah people tend to think I look harmless and innocent, and this perception seems to have persisted even after my transition. XD

        Hmm people say that folks would take your ideas more seriously if you are perceived as male. Well, even when I was seen as female, people tended to respect or appreciate my opinions, so I don’t know if there was any difference. Or maybe I happen to be in environments where women are just as respected as men are.

        The only benefit I noticed so far, is that I feel less vulnerable and less unsafe when I walk home at night, and generally feel safer from any men I see. I’ve actually never been harassed or cat-called before, even though harassment is supposedly common if you are seen as female. But being in this society has trained me to be wary of men, because of the stereotype that men can hurt women, not just sexually. Now that I look male, I don’t feel like a potential victim anymore, because I’m assuming that most men are straight. I do fantasize about some gay men being attracted to me, though, lol, as such fantasies actually give me gender euphoria! Yeah for some strange reason, the idea of a gay male stranger checking me out, is much less creepy than the idea of a straight male stranger looking me over. Sorry, I sound like I’m straight-bashing, aren’t I? XD But I think I’ve just been very exposed to the narrative of straight men preying on female victims, even though my rational side believes that most hetero men are more decent than that.

        Come to think of it, when people around us propagate the message that “men are scary and dangerous,” they usually mean cis straight men. They are probably not talking about trans, gay, ace, or even bi/ pan men.

        Liked by 1 person

      8. Sophie Li Avatar
        Sophie Li

        Hmm, I have heard that men tend to be taken more seriously than women. I think not always true but can apply in certain situations. In my experience men in leadership positions tend to be seen as confident and direct, while people are more critical of women in these positions. Some of my friends (male and female) who are going through medical residency has observed this. (Female doctors tend to get more attitude from nurses.) However I haven’t experienced this directly myself.

        That’s good to feel safer when walking at home 🙂 I do feel a bit unsafe sometimes when I am walking my small dog at night, though this is relatively new for me (when I was in college I was pretty oblivious haha). I am a bit more wary of men as well, and you are right that that is more the case with straight men than gay men. I am curious if there are any facts to support this cultural stereotype? Are straight men really more dangerous than gay men or straight/gay women?

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  2. Beth (Reading Every Night) Avatar
    Beth (Reading Every Night)

    I’ve never read Catcher in the Rye but I love that quote, in a way it’s kind of pessimistic which I feel fits my overall outlook quite well. 🙂
    Also just to add I feel like when someone says it’s nice to meet you to me it doesn’t really have much more impact than someone saying hello so I get what you mean about the words having a sort of decreased value.

    Liked by 2 people

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    1. Sophie Li Avatar
      Sophie Li

      Definitely. When everyone says “nice to meet you” and “how are you” it becomes generic and loses some of its meaning. On the other hand, if we don’t say these things it can come off as impolite lol..

      Liked by 1 person

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      1. Beth (Reading Every Night) Avatar
        Beth (Reading Every Night)

        Not really a winning situation. I suppose in a way those phrases have become the new “hello”, and we need to find other ways to say “nice to meet you”.

        Like

  3. artyplantsman Avatar
    artyplantsman

    I have not read this either but do like the quote.

    I will say nice to meet you at the end of a meeting, if it has been nice, but never straight away.

    Liked by 3 people

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    1. Sophie Li Avatar
      Sophie Li

      I find that (at least in Canada), people often say “nice to meet you” right away after being introduced, and then again at the end of a meeting. It makes sense to choose to say this phrase only when it is genuine, that way it means more 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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  4. Kay Wisteria Avatar
    Kay Wisteria

    I didn’t like Catcher but I gotta relate to the quote haha. Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Sophie Li Avatar
      Sophie Li

      Haha I can see how Catcher in the Rye is not for everyone. Glad that you like this quote though 🙂

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  5. Marie Avatar
    Marie

    Oh this is a great choice for a quote, Sophie! Indeed it is a bit weird to say that, we don’t say it in French though, so I guess that’s why I never really thought about it haha 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

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    1. Sophie Li Avatar
      Sophie Li

      Hi Marie 🙂 I am actually curious about whether there is something equivalent in other cultures or if this is just unique to English. Is there something that you say to others when you first meet them in French?

      Liked by 1 person

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      1. Marie Avatar
        Marie

        We would say “Enchantée”, a word that would actually be the equivalent to “nice to meet you”, I think… though personally, I don’t say it too often hahaha 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Sophie Li Avatar
        Sophie Li

        Oh yes I remember learning that French word before! I am curious how often do people use it? Is it certain age groups or demographics who do this?

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Marie Avatar
        Marie

        I know that I personally rarely use it and not many people around me do – it’s more of a very formal way of communicating here haha 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Sophie Li Avatar
        Sophie Li

        Oh I see, very interesting 🙂 glad to learn a bit more about the French language haha.

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Marie Avatar
        Marie

        I’m glad if I could be useful here haha 🙂 ❤

        Liked by 1 person

  6. 3C Style Avatar
    3C Style

    This one made me laugh. This is a form of politeness that is part of the interaction rituals that we engage in everyday life. Unconsciously or not, we reproduce gestures that are there to mark our sociability and respect for others. This is so natural that we do not even pay attention to it. Unless there is an error or mistake in the behavior. So, yes, your quote is highly appropriate.

    Liked by 2 people

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    1. Sophie Li Avatar
      Sophie Li

      Yes I agree 🙂 It is one of the natural things that we learn to do growing up. “Nice to meet you” is something that I say almost subconsciously now since it is so deeply engrained. Thank you for your comment!

      Liked by 1 person

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      1. 3C Style Avatar
        3C Style

        Anytime, Sophie. xoxo

        Liked by 1 person

  7. Lisa@LismorePaper Avatar
    Lisa@LismorePaper

    Such a wonderful quote. I find it a natural thing to say and we seemingly say it twice. 💗🌞

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Sophie Li Avatar
      Sophie Li

      Yes you are absolutely right. I noticed that we tend to say it twice as well, once right after being introduced and again at the end of the meeting.

      Like

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